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2 Years Of Infertility, Our Letrozole Experience, IVF? Adopting? Coping w/ Friends Getting Pregnant

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Loves welcome back so today i’m gonna do a fertility um question and answer video you guys are new um maybe watch some of my um other fertility videos actually if you watch our first trying to conceive video i feel like you can 100 see the difference from me then two years ago compared to now so um i definitely would recommend watching that the first question i

Wanted to answer um a lot of you guys asked how i was mentally and you guys asked like what could you do to support me and this made me cry i was just so just like taken back with how sweet you guys are and how much you do care about me and it just makes me feel so loved and so appreciated so thank you guys so much um i feel like mentally i don’t know if you

Guys can tell i feel like i’m doing really well when it comes to fertility i feel like i’m as positive as i can possibly be and um that doesn’t mean that like i’m i’m just happy all the time i definitely have my days and my moments of just getting really sad and either crying or just kind of having like a moment where it’s just like i just need to like be alone

And just kind of feel all my emotions i’m just grabbing a hair tie quick but um besides that i feel like i’m doing well the thing that i have done which i think was another question was like how do you cope with um infertility and for me i’ve taken on this new um found hobby of going to the library and just getting books on health and diet or trying to there’s

Not really books i’m trying to conceive that our like library um because it’s like a library sale where like people donate books and you buy them um but there are lots of books on pregnancy and there are like chapters in them about like trying to conceive i kind of figured like let’s just use this time of trying to conceive as also a time to better my health and

To learn as much as possible about like pregnancy um birth breastfeeding that way when we do fall pregnant um we’ll be as prepared as we can be i have not been diagnosed with anything that would basically cause infertility um the only thing that i possibly have is an autoimmune disease i mean i say i have an autoimmune disease but the more i think about it it’s

Like the first time i got tested for it it was negative the second time i got tested for it it was positive and that was within like a week or so of each other because they said if you test negative then you have to get another test and it’s like so it’s kind of hard because i don’t really understand like how that works but um i have always had like joint pain

Which is what my result came back is that i have an autoimmune disease and that autoimmune disease is arthritis um so i’ve always had like joint pains like my knees are really bad i’ve always just say like i feel like an old lady in a 27 year old body so it would make sense that i do have it but i don’t know um if you have arthritis or an autoimmune disease

Rather than it can cause you to um have a not a harder time conceiving but it just takes longer to conceive so that could be a possibility but i’ve literally gotten everything tested we’ve marked everything off that i could have and i just don’t have anything um the only thing i haven’t gotten tested um is my hsg which would be basically they go in with a die

And they see if your tubes are blocked so that’s something i think i’m gonna do maybe i might schedule the appointment after this maybe um i’ll talk more about that though in a minute because that does go into another question it could definitely be hard seeing friends and family get pregnant um i think that for me my initial reaction like someone oh it always

Goes the same way like i’m sitting with a friend and they’re like guess what and i just know deep down and my heart kind of sinks a little bit and i’m like all right um like we’re about to go on this roller coaster again and i’ll be like you’re pregnant and they’re like yes and i i my emotions go from like oh like i’m kind of heartbroken for myself but then they

Spike back up to like i’m so excited for them and i can’t wait i truly love like pregnancy i think it’s so beautiful i love birth like i really enjoy talking to women who’ve been pregnant and like hearing their experience like i just think it’s such a cool thing so for me it’s like i get really excited and i just like want to know everything that they’re going

Through and like feeling so in that aspect like it’s great but i usually will go home from you know finding out with them and i cry or like i call connor on the way home and i’m like oh like guess who’s pregnant and then he’s like oh that’s great and like we talk for a little bit about like how exciting it is for them but then i’ll be like ugh and now here i am

Like still here and i think what’s hard too is everyone in my life has had a really easy time getting pregnant um with the exception of connor’s mom and also my mom which is another question i will get into um so i feel like there’s not really like any friend that i can just like go to and like easily relate to i think when people approach it in a way where

It’s like guess what i’m pregnant and they know all the hurt that you’ve gone through it can be really hurtful and i know it’s it’s such a hard situation because they’re just so excited and they just want to tell you but i think that you have to just be very careful with um how you tell your friends that are trying to get pregnant i’ve had a lot of like crazy

Situations that have left me like very distraught with people telling me because they just did it in like such a horrible way and it really like stuff like that really is challenging and i feel for any of you who are going through that because it’s definitely not fun i got a ton of questions about if i would do ibf iui adoption if we’ve tried any um fertility

Treatments so we actually tried um lectures all and if you guys don’t know this about me i am like a very like all natural person like i don’t like medicine um unless i need to take it i think medicine is amazing for like things that like it has to be taken for but if something could be healed with like food or something natural i would much rather take it um in

That route and i felt like ever since i was younger i always had like really bad like stomach problems and or if i had like anxiety and stuff doctors would be like here’s medication and i would be like no like i gotta figure this out on my own and i always would so i kind of feel the same way now um my doctor before she even like did a ton of tests she was kind

Of just like we’re going to put you on this medication and i was like no i don’t want to be on medication so she was like well when you’re ready to go on it let us know so it was like about a year and a half of trying and connor and i were like i guess we can try it like what’s the harm of it um it just didn’t feel right when i was taking it i just felt like god

Was like that’s not what you’re supposed to be doing um so i took it i was supposed to take it for three cycles i only took it for two um i was um letrazole so you could either take letrozole or clomid and it will help you ovulate i already obviously ovulate my cycles are super regular i’m very blessed in that sense um so if you do ovulate it just kind of helps

You to like super ovulate in a sense so we tried it for the two cycles um my side effects were that i had when i would take the pill like the next morning i’d wake up with like a couple breakouts um i looked as though i was like 15 to like 18 weeks pregnant it made me very bloated i think if i’m remembering correctly i got some headaches around it but the worst

Part about it was that i had horrible pain when i was ovulating and this was happening when we were in like the highest peak of snow and my husband owns a snow plowing business so i go with him and i do all of like the shoveling of sidewalks and steps and all that stuff so i was like in the car like doubled over in so much pain i felt like i was gonna throw up

And i still had to like get out of the car shovel it’s freezing it’s snowing like it was just not for me i did not enjoy it um so that was our experience it obviously didn’t work for us um i know people are gonna be like you should have just taken the third cycle but i just truly felt like it just wasn’t gonna help us um as far as iui and ivf that is not really

Like in my game plan right now i think eventually it could be but right now i’m just really focused on like how can we heal my body naturally through like food and taking new supplements which i’ll talk about um and stuff like that and just making like changes throughout my environment um and then adoption is actually something that connor and i had always like

Never really felt like adoption was for us which i want to say like that is fine i think people need to kind of normalize adoption not being for everyone because people will put a lot of pressure on you and if you are having trouble um conceiving it’s like people just throw adoption on you like that’s what you’re supposed to do and not everyone’s fit for it but

I think right now it’s like we’re only 27. i think we’re a little young in our situation but not everyone because i mean someone could be like 23 and feel ready to adopt for us i feel like we’re too young to start that um so i would personally probably wait again it’s just in my mind probably to remember like 35 for that um but you don’t know what god’s gonna

Do god could literally bring a child to us within the next week you don’t know so i just say for iui ivf and adoption it’s kind of like never say never and just trust god’s plan i follow someone on instagram who actually that happened she was trying to conceive and super randomly like they were not looking into adoption whatsoever a situation like that happened

Where like someone was like i don’t want to keep this kid like do you want him and they were just like like he’s perfect like he fits with us and we’re keeping him and they now have a son so you just you don’t know what god’s gonna do basically so talking about supplements like i mentioned before i started reading the book it starts with the egg every girl needs

To read this book like this should be handed out at schools even like boys should read it i feel like it’s just so good and so informative about the human body and how it reacts to certain things so that book gave me a lot of insight and i switched up my supplements so now i’m taking a different prenatal um my doctor was like oh just go to walmart get a generic

Prenatal and i was like should it be foley or folic acid and she’s like it doesn’t matter just get whatever and like after reading this book this book is like no do not do that that is horrible so i feel like i’ve learned a lot my supplements have definitely changed i can link down below the prenatal that i’m taking now because i feel like it’s really great it

Has um folate in it but it’s called methyl methylated folate i think something like that and that’s the food driven version of folate and folic acid is in synthetic form of it so it’s definitely really important to know what you’re putting into your body um and this kind of goes into the next question if i’m happy with my doctor or not and unfortunately i’m not

Very happy with my doctor but that being said i just feel like i’ve never really been happy with doctors um i feel like every time i go i’m always getting brushed off i have like questions that i just want to ask them and i feel like they’re just kind of like yessing me to death or they’re being like you’re fine like everything’s great and like you don’t need to

Worry like you’re gonna be pregnant next month like don’t even worry about that like don’t try this don’t do that and it’s just always like i feel like they’re just rushing me and even like just trying to get a hold of my doctor is a nightmare i just to get my blood results i had to call her five times i left three messages and it was like a couple weeks later

I finally hear back from her so i’m not very happy with that um i will probably go through my doctor one last time for um my hsg test to see if my tubes are blocked and then if they are blocked obviously go through treatment with her and then after that i’m gonna call it quits probably um and try to find like um maybe like private practice midwife or something

Like that she is actually a midwife the doctor i go to now but i think that because it’s in like a hospital setting she kind of takes on the form of like a normal doctor and don’t get me wrong she’s very nice but i just am not into the whole like hospital vibe it just freaks me out and i just don’t feel comfortable this wasn’t a question but i wanted to add this

In here because everyone always in the comments is like it’s connor like connor is the issue and connor’s not the issue conor had all of his tests done and he passed them with flying colors they said that his numbers were like off the charts and so good which again is such a huge blessing um we both feel really strongly that it’s just a timing thing like god we

Just feel like god has something planned for us and we don’t know what that is whether it’s like us moving somewhere whether it’s us starting a new business and we just feel like there’s something that’s coming and that’s what’s kind of holding us up on this whole end of things um and a lot of you guys did ask about connor too and like how he’s doing throughout

All of this he is super positive and he just feels exactly like how i just said he’s super just like trusting in god and it’s just like i know this is happening for a reason i completely agree but sometimes it’s hard because then you see like these people who like just can’t care for a child get pregnant and you’re like but how are like they ready or how is it

Their timing to have a baby and like here we are so accepting and so ready and we would be the best parents and we’re not and so things like that definitely get really hard um i also wanted to add in this too i think like the whole process is hard but i think for me there’s um a few people who when i started trying like a couple months after they started and like

Instantly got pregnant and now they’re on their second child and second pregnancy and that is so hard it’s really hard to just be like wow they’ve already gone through two pregnancies and i’m still in the trying to conceive club and it’s not fun um so you know it definitely gets really hard but i think that just trusting that there’s a reason for it and just

Trusting that like god has something so incredibly and like just you can’t even think of it he has something so amazing planned for you and that’s why you’re not getting pregnant and something amazing is going to come something amazing is going to happen and i think just holding on to that hope is so important and that’s what’s helped me get through a lot of this

Um i always go back to this but when connor connor and i were dating for i think like nine years before we got engaged and i saw all these other people who were dating for months getting aged and i was like losing my mind i was like why are we not engaged yet i’m like connor do you not love me but looking back on it and like everything worked out so perfectly in

Timing and we had the most beautiful magical wedding like we just always look back to that day and we’re like it literally felt like a storybook and the way that people explain their weddings they’re like i don’t even remember my wedding like i didn’t even have time to eat i didn’t have time to like dance connor and eyes was like it was just not like that at all

Like we remember every detail we got to try all the food we were dancing all night long like it was just so magical and so perfect and if our wedding was like that it’s just we can’t even imagine like what having a child will be like so i think it’s just really important to trust in god’s plan and what he has for you because it will be so incredible so the next

Thing i wanted to answer was if my mom had a hard time conceiving me could it be genetic so my mom actually had um it took her three years to conceive my sister in eight years to conceive me with that it actually wasn’t my mom um it was my dad that had the reproductive issues and they had said to him like you probably won’t be able to have kids so um everything

Like checked out fine with my mom luckily it isn’t anything that’s passed down and as i mentioned before my sister gets pregnant like instantly but that is it for the questions and answers um i definitely want to update you guys more about this i just always am hesitant because i don’t want to also like like do an overboard of like fertility stuff but i feel like

There’s so many videos i could make like um like a day in the life of like eating for trying to conceive and i don’t know i feel like there’s lots of things i could probably do i just don’t know like how much you guys want to follow me on this journey or not um but if there’s any types of videos that go along with trying to conceive that you guys want to hear from

Me on then let me know i could even do like a video on the books um or i can i’ll actually link some of the books down below that i’ve been reading too hope you guys are staying strong throughout this if you guys ever need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me i do want to say something really exciting is that um one of my friends that i follow um we

Became friends throughout this whole journey she started trying i think like a couple months after connor and i she is now pregnant she just told me this week and i’m so excited for her and then another um woman that i follow um again we’ve become friends she just actually adopted a baby she went through like i think four miscarriages she went through ivf like

She went through everything and now she has her sweet little baby so there’s definitely a way i think that we will all have our babies um there’s a really special devotional actually that i wanted to do on the women in the bible who um were technically like barren but they all got pregnant like every single one of them and i think that it’s just a testimony and

Just shows that we will all one day be holding our children whether it’s through adoption ivf iui naturally whatever the case may be so just keep the faith and hope but i love you guys so much and i will talk to you next time bye

Transcribed from video
2 Years Of Infertility, Our Letrozole Experience, IVF? Adopting? Coping w/ Friends Getting Pregnant By SweetEmelyne’s