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SILL ALIVE?

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Basically a synopsis of a chronic (‘they’ gave me this adj., i won’t be like this forever)anorexic’s health conditions brought on by the eating disorder. Details the problems (including osteoporosis), treatment, and how it feels to be the patient all the time. I had recently been given Boniva via IV (for my brittle bones) and had a very bad reaction to it.

Hi everybody i’m sorry for the very long absence um i’m still really sick thank you for all your comments and everything they mean the absolute world to me you have no idea um it’s it’s really freaking cold air in south carolina and it’s not supposed to be cold it’s freezing here and i don’t like it so as you can see i’m bundled up i got this big ol fleece thing

On yeah it’s cold um saying i’m a lot i just can’t get my words together that’s how it’s been this whole week i can’t get any any words together at all it seems for one thing for as for what’s wrong with me um i was severely dehydrated so i had to get an iv and two and a half liters of fluid and i felt better but then i caught a cold and had severe body aches like

Really really severe and we couldn’t tell if it’s from the cold or because of the boniva side effects so all the doctors been able to do is give me pain meds and more pain meds and more pain meds and there have been times an entire day can go by and i’ll barely remember it that maybe that’s for the better because it really wasn’t a day worth remembering i am eating

But my stomach hurts soho so bad right now i just can’t get comfortable not on the second is sitting on the paper own damn it there’s another paper okay but anyway yeah i just still hurt and i’m taking so much medication she gave me the duragesic patch wood which is fentanyl and it’s a very strong medication and most pharmacist don’t even carry it in fact it took

Them three days to even find it and it’s not like i’ll live in some little nothing town i me i’m in the capital of south carolina there’s a lot of places around here but i’ve got a patch on now oh beautiful as you can see right here it’s kind of glimmering looks like a nicotine patch or something but it’s not oh yeah look at my big muscles oh oh yeah stupid um

Don’t let me turn you all love it anyway from what i can tell it’s not doing does i’m having to take ultram the flexural aspirin advil basically everything over the counter that i can take without killing myself and i’m still hurting so i foresee just being kind of a tough weekend and i’m really sorry for the way i look i look like crap and i can’t believe i’m

Doing this video and letting you all see me look like a total crap but this is um this is how i love a lot of the time believe it or not yeah this is the result of chronic anorexia you get that doctors can identify or you have all these pains forever for the rest of your life so well i don’t mean to be so depressing i swear i don’t but when i feel this bad i

Get scared and right now like i’m really scared i’m really scared a part of me wishes i was just i got to stay in the hospital or something so that people could be monitoring me but you know how insurances and oh my god i can’t look so terrible i just left it to a bondage or i shouldn’t have done that but yeah i guess and i was in the hospital that i’d be wanting

To be home so we’re never happy right i’m going to go now because i’m really really tired and hopefully the next time i see you i’ll look better i’ll feel better but the main thing i wanted you to know is that i really really appreciate your comment thank you for taking the time to come by and say hello it means so much to me and yeah i think i’m just going to go

Lay down now i hope you all are doing well please please please please eat please eat dinner tonight and keep it and please you have no idea how much i pray for that for you i have no idea i’m just like i’m all sappy right now about to cry if i could be with one with every one of you and get you to eat and keep it oh i would do it in a heartbeat how they do it i

Would be right there and i wish i could just please at least eat dinner tonight and keep it and just imagine that i’m there and i’m eating with you and i’m keeping it down please okay i love you guys luckily can’t pass germs this way but i do love you guys i love all of you and christina it’s not that i’m avoiding you whatsoever honey most of the time i’ve been

Asleep or out with the dogs and come in and get your messages or my friend and neighbor her mom passed away 2 and saw was doggie sitting but i’m not ignoring you at all so hopefully this weekend we can talk and twiggy of love to hear from you this weekend okay what happen we’re getting together and angela the same goes with you sweetheart i i hope to get to see

You soon i mean i’m carrying around the tv in the car for you and i night this week us then be very busy for you but i look forward to you squeezing me and somehow i got to get well there i love you all and happy friday night bye

Transcribed from video
SILL ALIVE? By stlwalking07