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You’ve got you’ve got conviction and you’ve got doubt listen you can hear the you can hear the waves in the pacific now conviction conviction was a a 19 year old moving to new york city in the year 2001 with no money and no education and no prospects but a really big dream now doubt was that same guy 20 years later leaving new york city see conviction

Conviction was knowing whatever in the world whatever in the world i was looking for i could find it here in new york city but doubt doubt was having no clue what i was looking for and going to california and that’s it that’s leaving my house in california for the last time ever it’s both like much less ceremonious like it’s just me driving away much less

Ceremonious than i expected but also much sadder we did okay in los angeles i surfed and spent a lot of time with the kids and went surfing and hung out with my family and went surfing and one time we uh we missed winter so much we hired a guy with a truck to come blow snow into our backyard in santa monica we had fun it was a good life nevada state line

Right there and this is me officially leaving the the state of california there you go thanks thank you oh my god it’s so hot out here this is it’s hot running in the desert it’s hard but that that lovely life wasn’t the whole picture kenneth said we never found our footing in los angeles we we love the nice weather we really love being close to family

But it never felt like home it always felt forward it felt out of place see there’s this this something that makes me me and whatever that something is it it first came to light when i moved to new york city 20 years ago and i could feel that something withering that sense of self was dying in los angeles now i can’t speak for my family and i certainly can’t

Speak for my wife but this was not a unilateral decision and wanting to leave la wanted to go back to new york city it wasn’t just me whatever i was hoping to find in california and i couldn’t find well candace couldn’t find it either i don’t know are you crying no i’m not crying i’m crying on the inside you know they say you’re laughing on the inside this is

Like the opposite i’m like crying on the inside and maybe for the first time in 17 years of knowing each other in eight years of marriage candace and i saw eye to eye on something we agreed on something and that something was that los angeles ain’t it and i can’t tell you how much that makes me love her more gas i’m like uh 300 miles from the from colorado

Something like that getting tired now admitting you’re wrong is not easy and this decision didn’t come lightly well i made it to colorado i hope to be here like before it got dark out but it’s dark out leaving los angeles means moving 3 000 miles again pulling the kids out of school and putting them in a new school again and it means leaving family saying

Goodbye to the very highlight of living in california is foreign that’s our house well that was our house um home was never about a house or a great yard or good weather home is about a place that makes you feel like you home is about it it’s about finding a location where you just where you just fit foreign it’s 11 at night this is i think a

Campground but it’s a little spooky and kind of in the middle of nowhere i slept here last night having the full bed here is really just clutch this is key we’re not from candace and i weren’t born in new york city we were adopted by new york city but this is the place we both came to when we were when we were young we’re in our i was 19 she was like in

Her early 20s and it’s the place where we became ourselves it’s not our home by birth it’s our home by choice and it’s rare in life for two things to fit so perfectly together but new york city it’s the only place where i felt like i truly belong yeah this is it second fill it’s very very comfortable what do you think about the fact that we’re

Moving back to new york city and we’re leaving los angeles if you’re not changing you’re not pushing yourself hard enough i appreciate that i’m at the station goodbye ohio hello pennsylvania i was surprised new jersey i didn’t know i didn’t know i didn’t i didn’t know i didn’t know i didn’t know foreign i’m back i’m back forever you’re back

Forever from today yeah yes two days ago i got here two days ago unbelievable man you

Transcribed from video