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In this video I explain the reasons why I’ve decided to quit accutane a month early, even after paying £££ for these pricey tablets!👀

Hey i hope everything is well with you today i want to talk about a reason why i quit roaccutane a month early i’ve been on it for six months and i am done i’ve given it up as of a week ago and i saw it back in february i saw it on 20 milligrams then went up to 40 then went up to 80 i went private so i paid a lot of money for the course of tablets and it although

It kind of hurts me that i’m giving up and getting rid of these tablets that i’m not going to use and i paid a lot of money for i’m just like whatever i am honestly done it has really opened my eyes in terms of what i’ve put my body through and and you know is clear skin worth it now i know it’s easy for me to say that because right now i’ve got clear skin so it’s

Like yeah well is because you know you can’t say that if you’ve got clear skin but it really made me take a step back and be like are you are you serious that you’re putting your body through all of this just for clearer skin is this the only way that you can do it and the answer is no it’s not it does a lot of the time and the acne can reoccur like looking at

Research online and i think this is like forty five to fifty percent of cases and accutane them though acne can reoccur can come back again and that goes to show that you know drying your skin out with isotretinoin a high course for however long you put on it and doesn’t necessarily mean that acne is not going to come back around because acne has obviously been

Triggered by something and it has made me take a step back and look into how else i can look after my body and look after my skin and whatever is causing acne flare-ups and so yeah i thought it’s back in february i paid a lot of money and as soon as i started and i really started to feel like overnight like a 97 year old woman i was like oh my god all of a sudden

It felt like somebody took a hammer to my lower back and i had that for six months straight every morning was so painful so painful i was unable to do my workout my weight training which i really enjoyed they make me feel fit and able and active and confident and that was taken away although i haven’t gained a lot of weight i’ve only gained like a few pounds and

I understand that where muscle is stronger it’s very heavier than fat so i have lost a lot of muscle mass i can feel it i can see it on myself and which has definitely triggered my body dysmorphia it’s made me feel really really low this past six months although my skin is clear and i feel a lot better with that and and able to wear more thing such like this and

I’ve also been wearing very baggy things i’ve been wearing and dark things jeans in like really really hot weather and i’m not wanting anybody to see my body because i’ve been feeling really really bad about my physical appearance my weight although it’s not necessarily a bad way is really sparked my body dysmorphia and that has taught me that clear skin doesn’t

Necessarily mean that like your confidence is like whoa yes no more skin picking not necessarily and no more body dysmorphia not necessarily for me it has been shouting louder than ever before and that should goes to show for me that the intrusive thoughts can shift from one to the other it’s very very easy for like one compulsive compulsion compulsion to change to

And to another and sidestep and so although you feel like you’re making progress it’s not necessarily the case for me like you know as soon as my mind was not freaking out over skin anymore i started freaking about and how this looks how this feels and what i’m eating what people are thinking of me constantly comparing my body to other people and it’s literally

Comparing to every person i see every day and all these harsh words it really made me think wow like there’s a lot of groundwork to be done and it doesn’t just stop with the skin and that’s definitely been a massive wake-up call it’s been one of those things like you think oh clear skin is gonna make me feel on top of the world well yeah it will temporarily but

Then if this is emotional if this goes far deeper than just the skin surface then you’re not gonna feel great that long like the negative thoughts the anxiety is gonna creep back and you’re gonna start looking at yourself and being like what else do i need to fix i’m not happy and that’s that’s where you need to take the groundwork to that’s where you really need

To focus your attention and energy on is the the low self-esteem and how to work with your body instead of working against it i’ve realized on this course and the reason why i’ve quit is because i’ve just been overdosed in my body for six months straight hating on it putting it through literal hell actual hell every day just felt like like like trenching through

Trudging through quicksand like feeling really really crappy about myself day after day after day and awful war skin clear skin and yeah so that has been a huge wake-up call it made me look more inwards and to like what i’m eating what i need to eliminate from my diet that’s been making me feel really bad that’s been making my skin flare up i have a video that

You can check out and it shows a quick quick cheap and effective way to find out foods that you’re intolerant to and there’s no blood required you just send some couple strands of your hair it really is that simple i got some really good results and i have eliminated those from my diet and it has definitely helped and but some of the things that really have made

It difficult made me think that actually i’m done and the water retention of course feeling like a whale even though i’m not and that has really affected my confidence and the sun damage the sun burns like from day one when i stepped out even though i was wearing my normal spf 50 i’ve been straight away and i have got a few more wrinkles now because of it and i

Will be as soon as i think they say like to wait six months before you do any treatments or anything like as soon as that’s the case i will be on it with my derma roller and i am taking very good care of my skin but it was very difficult especially when you had like a you know loads of your trusty skincare and then your skin completely changes and all of a sudden

Things reactive things are making a skin so sensitive i was like i had red face for the whole six months is still quite red but it’s going down yeah and you know blepharitis that was massive i still have it because my skin is going through this well my body’s going to kind of re transitioning it’s like right okay i’m no longer on 80 milligrams anymore i’m trying to

Like get my head around not having anything in the system now and so my blepharitis has flared up and that has been an issue for me for the whole six months it’s been very difficult to work very difficult to see especially in the morning like so much pain i spent a lot of money on things for the blepharitis a lot of money for the constant chapped lips i will not

Miss her just always feeling really really gross really gross and this summer has been difficult i don’t know why i chose somewhere to do it although it has really helped me with my skin and obviously being able to wear more things that i wasn’t able to wear before and i just feel excited to get on to this new chapter this new start or i can think more about you

Know what i’m eating what’s causing the acne what’s causing my low moods get to know myself but i mean my body has worked so hard to keep me going and i’ve been you know day after day overdosing it making it feel horrendous all it wants to do is survive all it wants to do is keep me alive and i’ve been you know beating it up for years saying you know this needs

To change this needs to change this is not enough this is not good enough it looks horrible i look ruler and saying all these things to myself in and at sunrise you know like i feel sorry for my body that’s that’s like the biggest thing like after all this i just feel so sorry for my body and i’ve paid money for that hmm i don’t know if i would recommend rocky

Tain i’ll probably do a post on it and if you know and i’m keen to look into alternatives and there definitely will be alternative methods to clear skin like absolutely this is not the only way to do it i wouldn’t recommend it necessarily unless it really is like something that you’re dead set on then you’ll just do it anyway like each person is very different

You’ve got to take it you’ve got to weigh up the options if you feel like this is the avenue to go down then cool go do it and of course everyone’s journey will be different but i’m saying that i wouldn’t necessarily recommend it based on my journey based on the side effects that i got because it’s been constant it’s been absolutely constant and i have just felt

So miserable and i wouldn’t recommend that on anyone i wouldn’t be like to do this you’ll feel so much better my anxiety is still being around i still spend something i’ve had to manage my dermatillomania based on the anxiety i’ve still had to manage you know it went from skin picking areas that were oily on my face and body chest whatever to go in for dry and bits

Of skinless garbs ingrown hairs on say my thighs and legs so you can easily manipulate you know your body and your picking from one way of doing it to another you know skin picking and doesn’t be it doesn’t get eliminated because of clear skin not if it’s emotionally connected to your anxiety like as soon as you feel anxious you will go to your safe place if you

Don’t work on creating a new safe place so it has really been an eye-opener but i am looking forward to the new chapter i’m looking forward to really working on my body dysmorphia not just a dermatillomania i feel like i’ve developed a really good relationship with my dermatillomania but i understand that there’s so much work that needs to be done in me accepting

Myself accepting where i’m at and the present i look forward to that journey and i think it was really good to eliminate the food from a diet that was actually causing a lot of distress to my body and ultimately to my skin and my moods i would definitely check that out if you are not not sure of what you’re putting into your body that’s causing i’ve definitely

Check that out and get it done it’s cheap i’m yeah i hope that’s helpful to you do let me know if accutane is something that you’re currently on or you’ve been thinking about doing it or if you’ve done it i’d like to know like how things work for you what your key side effects were i feel like i’ve been dragged through it i’m just so happy to be done i’m getting

Ready mentally prepared physically prepared to get back on it i am looking forward to it i’m excited that is my main thing that’s like i’m just excited to like really love who i am because accutane in all fairness it really has raised my confidence with my skin and that is great but i understand that that is could potentially be temporary and also it’s up to me

It’s not up to any of the tablet it’s up to me to learn how it would be complet within myself and to raise my own self-esteem and to feel better within myself and feel like my body isn’t a cage you know like it’s not something that constantly needs to be fixed i need to break free from it know like i need to accept assets i need to love others and that’s something

That accutane has definitely taught me it’s like you know there’s a lot more going on right now than just the surface issues so yeah i hope that is that this is interesting and i hope that i helped you um and yeah do let me know we’ll speak soon

Transcribed from video